I just woke up like this!

Having gone through different types of therapy and taking the prescribed medication for my anxiety and depression and seeing such colossal changes in a very short amount of time, people begin to assume that you are “cured”, and just like that life can return to “normal” again……………… how disappointing it is when they realise, you’re still a work in progress!!!

Today as I sit and write this blog I am having what is known in my house as a down day. 

Symptoms include:-

1. low mood, that for what ever reason doesn’t want to lift, it wants to maintain its level of lowness indefinitely, not necessarily with any explanation as to why it exists.

2. Emotional, Due to the low mood i am continuously on the verge of tears, to the point that if you touch me or show the slightest bit of kindness, concern or even an inquiry, it will result in endless amounts of crying……… irritating I know!!

3. Anxiety, UN-surprisingly looming in the background as always!! Ready to pounce at any given moment. However insignificant the task maybe to you or I, the anxiety inside doesn’t see things so clearly and certainly doesn’t feel it by any means Unnecessary to react at full capacity!

You may be thinking or wondering what’s happened? Well, all I have is I just woke up like this……… if I dig down a little and think about my feelings and where they stem from I may find some kind of a reason, although not seemingly worthy to most, it is none the less a reason for this boorishly dim mood.

Trying to maintain high spirits when you are constantly reminded of the barriers that anxiety puts in the way, it is by no means an easy feat.

When I initially decided to start this blog I really thought it should be uplifting, I need to make people feel good about themselves and not toworry about other peoples perceptions. Now don’t get me wrong I do want it to be all of those things, but it also needs to be a reminder that we are all human and no matter how much prescribed medication we take or CBT we have or even the sessions of hypnotherapy we go to, there will ALWAYS be days when we struggle and that it isof course absolutely fine!!!

Without these occasional blips we wouldn’t really ever notice the progress we are making daily.

In that moment it feels like we’ve taken a step back and its all been a waste of time, and you begin to think where did I go wrong?? But actually even the least anxious, most together people have days like this! What matters is, is that we push through it, however hard it feels at the time, we must always keep going because at some point we will feel good again………

At this very moment in time I am sat reading my own words trying to convince myself of their truth, I amnot about to start preaching to you by saying it’s easy because I am indeed struggling, but I know if I really sit and think about it, it is the truth and that’s why I am able to write it even when I am having a day of troubles myself.

Anxiety and depression maybe something that we have to deal with on a daily basis, but we must try to remember that it does not define us, it may consume us at times but it must NEVER define us, we are stronger than it and we must use thatfor better things like writing a blog or even just sharing a smile with a stranger, everyone has a story that’s untold and that’s why we must always be kind and remember however hard it feels, someone somewhere is always feeling much worse, we must never judge only try to make them feel good again.

For me writing about how I feel really is my therapy, just in the space of writing this blog I have already started to feel a little better, still not at full me but there are the occasional glimmers.

If I continue to talk myself up rather than down I will come back to me again.Walking, running, meditation, drawing or music anything that you feel helps in the slightest you should do, because although you still feel like you are barely afloat it is enough to keep you from drowning.One last thing before I go, remember to surround yourself with good people, there will be times when you feel that you need to be alone and that is perfectly normal, but remember that being alone all the time is not helpful. Being around family or talking to people you trust will always make a difference.

Published by A Work In Progress

My name is Natalie, I am a 30 something year old wife and mum of two children and one cheeky dachshund called Winston. I am a Mental Health Blogger and aspiring motivational speaker. It was May of 2019 that I decided to set up my website A Work in Progress, to create a blog based primarily on the subject of Mental Health. I chose to call myself and my website A work in Progress because after so many years of trying to seek perfection, living with extreme Anxiety and Depression has really helped me to realise that the something I was looking for simply didn’t exist. No one is perfect nor will they ever be, we continuously evolve and grow through the different experiences we have and the hurdles we encounter, thus making perfect versions of exactly who we are at that time in our lives. The intention with my blog is to inspire other’s and help them through the tough times, whilst drawing awareness to a subject that still does not get enough attention. Over the last few years I myself have struggled with Mental Health illnesses, specifically Anxiety and Depression. I first began writing as a way of helping myself to deal with my illness. It allowed me to express how I felt in detail and in turn allowed me to process my thoughts and figure out how best to manage and deal with them. I hope to spread a little more kindness into a world that doesn’t always feel very kind. I believe it is so important to recognise the colossal impact kind words can have and remove the perception that we should aspire to be like someone else rather than be happy with who we are. I want to share my experiences with others, to show that although tough and a journey that takes time, it is possible to reach the lowest point in your life and come out the other side.

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