As you may or may not be aware, writing has been a crucial part of my overcoming and dealing with anxiety and depression.
Writing these blogs really helps me to realise my emotions and understand how I am feeling and the real reason behind it. It helps me to rationalise between what is true emotion and what is temporary due to anxiety or depression.
When you look back at a situation it is difficult to remember exactly how you felt, the reaction you gave and the impact it had on you, your day and the people surrounding you. By writing it down in the moment it allows me to look back with a clear mind and with a little more clarity and accuracy.
To write is to release.
I didn’t always intend to publish my blogs. Writing in blog form was strangely comforting because it felt like I was talking to people, but people that were not judging just listening, understanding and even relating. The silent imaginary world I wasn’t afraid to open up too because they didn’t know who I was, I was just words on a piece of paper.
It may to some seem a little strange, but it’s been helpful to me and my mental health and ultimately that is all that matters.
The decision to publish my blogs was not an easy one to make, people that struggle with similar issues will understand that exposure is not something we would choose if there was an option to avoid. People’s opinions, judgements and unrealistic exceptions being thrust upon you is not something that anybody looks for or wants, but unfortunately as we are aware social media is a sea swimming with these types of people, people that hide behind a keyboard to inflict hateful, hurtful and unnecessary comments on to others based on their uneducated and unnecessary “opinions” and “judgements”.
The reason behind my issues is ultimately down to my lack of self-worth. From years of bullying and situations that made me feel like I would never be good enough. The actions and words of these people had taken away my self-confidence, self-belief and more importantly my ability to like or love myself.
Lessons learnt on this journey.
What I have learnt through the journey that has been my life so far, it that as people, we are too busy worrying about the opinions of others, when actually the only opinion about you that truly matters is the opinion you have of yourself.
Constantly trying to live up to other people’s exceptions is so unrealistic, damaging and can be detrimental to your mental health.
It has been a long and painful journey to try a regain some of those feelings again, a journey that I am still on, but one that I hope and feel is coming to an end very soon.
Although it has been a struggle, it has made me a better person and taught me so many great lessons.
Here’s a few that I take with me every day.
· Stop judging, start listening
· Always lead with kindness
· you are not alone
· Everyone has a story
· A word can have a massive impact and so can a smile
· You are stronger than you think
· you are always enough
· Trust in your journey
· no one’s opinions matter more than the opinion you have of yourself
· Be brave
· Everyone’s journey is different
· There is light at the end of the tunnel
· Do what makes you happy
· The opinion of others is not a reflection of you, but a reflection of them and the people that they are.
Time to embrace life.
As my “down days” get fewer so I have been increasingly worried that I will no longer have a blog, the blog began because I was anxious and depressed, now that these feelings are starting to lift I wonder if I will still be able to write, inspire and help others as was always intended.
The urge to write is always there when I am filled with emotion, and that is how I want it to remain, only writing what is in my heart and my truth. Rather than worry about what I cannot control, I remain thankful and eternally grateful that I can finally see a light.
I will never force content for my blog, it will only ever come from my heart and if that means I don’t write for a month so be it. Learning to except what is fate is hard but believing in yourself, trusting in your journey and listening to your gut feeling is the only way to move forward.
I have come to realise that it is simply the end of this chapter and the beginning of a new one. I am going to move forward with gratitude for the lessons I have learnt and use the strength I have gained to embrace and take on whatever lies ahead of me. I will continue to take you with me and always be here to offer a listening and non-judgemental ear.
Here’s to new chapters!!
What lessons have you learnt on some of the journeys you have been on?
Do you believe that all journeys are there to teach us something?