Welcome back to my blog, this blog is pretty much just my thoughts on a page, which is basically the same as always but for some reason it feels a little more like “stuff” than a blog today, but I felt I needed to get this “stuff” out of my mind and on to paper, so I hope you enjoy it and anything that’s clogging up your mind take a pen and write it down, it definitely helps.
Self-doubt and procrastination
As you may have noticed my spree of consistent blogs ended last week as I didn’t upload. I sat down on several occasions to write my blog, but for whatever reason I just didn’t upload it. I have mentioned this before in a previous blog that I am the world’s biggest procrastinator! Of recent I have been trying really hard to work on it. I need to learn to just get on with the task in hand instead of thinking on it and then not doing anything about it. I believe my procrastinating to be partly down to a lack of self-belief, despite the fact I have a blog and hundreds of ideas swirling around in my brain, I still doubt that I am capable of anything more than just existing in the background, I have moments of pure determination, ambition and excitement and then just like that the self-doubts back and the fire inside me dies. I find myself getting more and more frustrated by it. I really do want to do better with it so if you have any ideas on how I can manage this more effectively, please let me know.
Returning to some kind of “normality”
Quarantine in the UK is starting to lift which is of course great news, it means that life can start to return to some sort of “normal” again…… for how long… who knows? But for now, at least businesses are beginning to reopen and people are able to start to find their feet again.
I on the other hand believe it to be a little terrifying…. I have freely spoken about how “Isolation made me feel normal” in my mini- series, so coming out of quarantine back into a world that is not quite the same as it was before, into a world where wearing a face mask when leaving the house suggests to be the “new norm” leaves me feeling petrified!
To feel as though I am almost entirely free from anxiety for the last four months has been honestly AMAZING!! But now I have to return back to my journey of actually trying to overcome my anxiety for real and not just feel like I have because a pandemic happened and the world shut down!! It sounds like something you see in a film or read in a book; it doesn’t feel like real life at all.
I am left feeling unsure as to whether I am able to manage it as well as I was before because I haven’t had to for so long. I find myself once again questioning my own capabilities. Has anybody else felt the fear of returning to “normality”? and how are you managing it?
What do you think?
I am constantly trying to be the optimist and i never like to end a blog where possible on a “negative” note, I wanted to put an idea that I had to you all?
The recent blog series I did “Isolation made me do it” was so much fun to write, I really enjoyed doing it. It allowed me to show a little more of my personality and the person that sometimes I feel can get forgotten about when I write my blogs. Obviously, it’s all me but I mean the different sides to who I am. I created this blog to raise awareness and hope surrounding Mental Health and it’s something that I am still very passionate about doing, and will continue with. Having said that I would really like to start writing about other things I enjoy and am interested in. I have previously written about the person behind the illness and how we can sometimes forget that we are more than just our illnesses; I would really like to follow my own advice for once and write about thing’s I enjoy too. I have been considering the idea of increasing the amount I upload each week to twice a week . I would still continue my Mental Health Blog on a Tuesday, but also upload a blog on a Friday? This blog would be more about me and my life despite the Anxiety and Depression, things I enjoy and the hobbies I have, for example make up and skin care, daily routine, mum life etc. Getting to know the whole person instead of just the Illness. Let me know what you think, is it something you’d want to read?
I mean it seems ridiculous given that the first half of this blog was me talking about the fact I couldn’t pull myself together enough to upload last week’s blog, but seemingly it appears my solution to this problem is to increase the work load? Makes sense… to absolutely no one… but for some reason I feel it may give me the encouragement and boost I need to keep me on track. We will see.
Thank you for joining me this week despite my lack of consistency, for now I shall blame it on the pandemic and once that’s finally over maybe I will run out of excuses for my being lazy and unorganised!
Share a smile not a judgement
Lead with kindness