What Anxiety feels like to me.

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Welcome back to my blog, thank you for joining me.

The thought’s and opinions in this blog are my own, based on my personal experience, I am not a doctor nor do I have any medical expertise, this blog is simple my view on Anxiety based on my own experiences.

This week I want to talk about what Anxiety feels like to me.  I say ‘to me’ because I am aware that what it feels like to one person may not be the same as what it feels like to another.

Having lived and dealt with Anxiety for many years, I have become all too familiar with how Anxiety makes me feel and the effect and impact it has on me.

My Symptoms of Anxiety.

Anxiety takes me on a journey, if the thing that has triggered it was a pre-planned event, that I have had time to think and worry about then there is the build that comes first, this can begin days in advance and get worse as the day draws nearer.

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• Feeling sick

• Feeling ill or unwell

• Unsettled and or nervous stomach

• Feeling emotional and constantly on the verge of tears

• Distracted with my thoughts and find it difficult to concentrate

• Continuously trying to seek distraction by keeping busy

• Being forgetful and clumsy because I am continuously distracted

• Unable to sleep

• The feeling of being on edge

The symptoms I get when I face the thing that has triggered the

Anxiety.

Photo by Melanie Wasser on Unsplash

• Racing heart

• Unsettled and or nervous stomach

• Feeling sick

• Feeling on edge

• I become fidgety and seek comfort in repetitive behaviours, for example drumming my fingers on a surface repeatedly or fiddling with my necklace or rings (This is something I wasn’t even aware that I did until someone told me I was doing it)

• Dry throat that makes me feel as though my throat is closing up and I am unable to breathe

• Feeling of overwhelming fear and impending doom

• The overwhelming urge to “Get out” or leave

• The feeling of pure panic

• Feeling dizzy and like I am going to pass out/faint

It appears I would always know when I was experiencing anxiety with all the symptoms I have listed above, but sometimes I simply wake up feeling sick and wonder if I am ill. Its not always clear if what I am feeling is anxiety or if I am actually unwell. I know this will sound strange but, in some cases I am completely unaware of anything that could be causing me anxiety.

Is this something you can relate to or are you always aware of what is creating the feelings of Anxiety?

Live outside society’s boxes

Photo by Sep on Unsplash

Every condition or illness comes with a list of symptoms and that is pretty much how most of us self-diagnose, before we’ve even seen or spoken to a doctor.

I have come to realise from reading other blogs and listening to people describe their own journey that, a hundred people could sit down in a room and all have the same diagnoses of Anxiety but our symptoms, triggers and the cause behind it will not be the same. We may have the same diagnosis but that doesn’t mean it will affect you, and or show in you the same way.

Every journey in life is unique, every one’s experiences are different and the reactions and lessons we take away from those experiences won’t be identical, making it impossible to be the exact same as anyone else.

There are definitely commonalties with people who live with Anxiety and there are commonalities with some of the symptoms but I believe it to be only that… a commonality.

The point I am trying to make is that just like with appearance, size or gender etc, as a society we tend to label, categorise and put ourselves or each other into a specific box, it’s the same with Mental Health Illnesses. No one should be forced into being the “stereotype”

Every one’s life experiences are different, everyone is unique.

The lessons we take from our experiences will be personal to us.

There is no right way to have, deal or live with anxiety or any other Mental Health Illness, we all do the best we can with the tools we have.

I don’t want to be put into a box that says she has Anxiety so she must behave like this or do that or have gone through this.

It’s time to stop looking for the right box to put one and other into and just be happy, content and free to be exactly who we are outside of any boxes.

We need to Love and except people for who they are, the kindness they show, the love they give and the actions they take and not judge them by the illness they have.

Share a smile not a judgement
&
Lead with kindness
💚❤️

Q. Have you ever been the subject of someone else’s stereotype?

4 thoughts on “What Anxiety feels like to me.

  1. I’ve occasionally seen people self-invalidate because of stereotypes. For example, if someone believes that depression can only happen to people with a history of trauma, they might conclude that their own feelings of depression aren’t valid because they haven’t been traumatized.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This article may encompass a variety of topics, and so readers may find it repeated on various sites and posts. In the hope of encouraging readers, to support their common sense and hopes for a better tomorrow, we bring together anecdotes and real-life shared experiences, making connections when America was what the founding fathers worked so hard, even fighting was against tyranny, and what my friends and I enjoyed not too many decades ago.
    As I get older, I grow more appreciative of my own childhood, though during those years, I complained like most children and teenagers. Had I known what America would experience just a few decades later, I would have never complained with all the opportunities and friends I had, as well as growing up in a two parent home, all our needs met. My complaints were about too much homework, bullies, not getting what I wanted, sibling rivalry, and on…. We went to school, unaware of any rhetoric, played outdoors, running the neighborhoods, and did anything we could imagine until we got in trouble at home. Life was good. Chores. Neighborhood jobs. Sports. Family dinners. Trips. Whatever.
    Talking with my friends, one said he felt sorry for today’s youth. I thought about what they face today. Then, I agreed that what surround them today is outrageous. In a sense, we wonder if they have any chance. From the moment they awaken, they are surrounded by rhetoric, propaganda, motivational controls, progressive messaging, and demoralizing messaging. Being of the technological age (computers, infinite channel television, smart phones laced with propaganda and demoralizing messaging, information at their fingertips, then sitting for hours where more messaging occurs, more time on computers), it seems they don’t stand a chance. Many of their parents, if they have both or any (When we were growing up, two parent homes were the norm. We rarely thought of broken homes.), are themselves a product of the “Matrix”: a matrix of half-truths, lies, and persuasion. So, their caring parents have to negotiate a life of what we’re seeing today. They get it with the adults of the world. Many families get it with their friends. They get it when they’re supposed to be learning. To repeat, they get it on the internet, they get it on their smart phones, they get it at the movies, on Net Flix, and they get it everywhere else. Then, to top it off, they become aware of the most degrading and defiling things in this world, which often can steal their innocence. Far too early for sure. No chance to grow up with that naïve way so important to growing up, to wondering, to dreaming, and to look forward to each day and a wide-eyed view of the decades ahead. So they lose themselves, their own identity, an identity changed and molded by the ones creeping through the internet, smart phones, and television, then finding them in books. And then, they are dealing with all we see today, a whole population that either don’t think for themselves or just goes along to get along, few speaking words of wisdom. And because being themselves is too difficult, they find a way to “fit in,” then suffer guilt, bad dreams, and need medicines.
    Yes. I firmly believe many people suffer internally because they can’t see the forest for the trees. They are living a life of lies, propaganda, and redirected attention, seeing it all around them, and finding no spark of light on which to see hope. It can be that dreary. Where are the people who understand? Where are the people who think clearly and see what I see? Yes, I have heard similar type words from younger people. I tried, to the best of my ability, to understand so they met one person, among others, that heard them.
    Thankfully, there are parents that had “wise”, “thoughtful,” “innocent” parents, both staying together, having family times, and staying away from the internet and smart phones. Yes, we still have a chance. Because I believe, though many suffer and will suffer, people inherently want good. Even if they make a ton of mistakes in their lives and have to learn the hard way. Even if they have to fit in, behave as others to be cool, and toe the line of propaganda in order to find work. The Matrix (Watch the movie if you haven’t already. It’s metaphorical to real life.) has placed a curtain of lies, rhetoric, propaganda, demoralizing messaging, and misdirection all around them. It’s made it so that we can’t even speak our minds in the public. Certainly not at work. And then having to nod as others, to speak the same language, to be another automaton without our own intuition. America was founded upon the free exchange of ideas. That’s how many of the problems the media keep complaining about were solved over the past decades. And in those video games is more. I played those in college for a time, but realized the problem, and so gave them all up. Online chess or checkers maybe. Those two games help with critical thinking, logic, and math.
    Here is perhaps a very big problem within the others. This one thing adds tremendous problems, for it’s all around, and often in disgusting, horrific plainness. The constant sex messaging: everywhere. No chance to get away. No chance to just dig under rocks, watch a caterpillar make a cocoon, or make believe about story books. It invades every aspect of our lives. These messages, commercials, shows, and explicit pictures all distort what is natural, supposed to be between a man and his wife, and rip apart people’s sensibilities and patience, stealing what isn’t theirs. They make it so, that as people are defiled, they can’t look at each other with respect. Having been corrupted, people grow up and find they can’t have a real relationship. They can only find what passes for relationships with others going down the same lost path. And many parents know, and do their best to keep it away from their children. And thankfully, those parents help the next generation.
    I’ve stopped watching certain stations. We could be watching a cool show, older shows, like Gilligan’s Island, Shrek, or even The Andy Griffith Show. Then, on commercials are a slew of sex commercials, very explicit in talk, some even telling what they’re going to do. Even when family shows are on! And they do it so naturally, as if what they’re saying and telling is normal. We can watching a very innocent commercial, then one of those come on. A commercial about health. Another about a new invention in garden care. Then one of those. It’s on the web. It’s on the smart phone. It’s in the people because so many have become changelings. And mental illness is on the rise. I told a friend this would happen. And when many seek help, often they find the help from those who don’t support religion, don’t support traditional life, and won’t (because they can’t) speak plainly what might be best. It’s all becoming progressive, which many don’t understand what that term actually means.
    We are in a country in which all of our traditions, religious beliefs, and simplicity are under constant attack. All the positive aspects that made this country of freedom and opportunity, a place their children could grow up with hope, where a man or woman’s limitations is only how much effort they’re willing to expend, are being attacked. Make no mistake. Things will get worse. As a people lose their traditions, lose their original America identities, lose touch with morals (Morals are within our hearts. They are a part of us: who we are. We’re born with understanding, morals, and a light of clarity which needs protection by parents.), they become like ships lost at sea, without a compass, without sight of land. And the ones giving direction are also separated from traditional values, from a real American identity, and from their morals. As I said to a friend, things have to get worse. Unfortunately, it’s often the only way. For until things get really bad, many don’t wake up. People have to decide what’s important. People have to decide what’s best for their children. They have to stand for what’s right, for if they don’t the future generations will suffer greatly, more so than today. So as they see things fall apart, jobs and careers being destroyed, the young suffering internally, many needing medicines to cope with life (We never saw any of that while growing up.), and our system of laws being turned upside down, they need to wake up. They need to speak up. They need to stand for something real. Be real. And vote for real wherever they can find them. And as we wake up, vote for those who support the constitution, support our police, and support laws: real laws, support traditions and morality, we will see those who have been attempting to place blindfolds over our eyes. These un-American people will be frothing at the teeth. They will be gnashing at the teeth. They will be attacking. They will call you every name in the book. But that’s good. Because they’re showing you who they are. And that’s where you shine. But it will be a struggle. In patience. It took years, even decades, to get where we are. It will take time, time worth the effort, to bring honesty, simplicity, decency, and all that is good back to the fore.
    On blogs, we see so many people like ships lost at sea. Many seem to want to write their life stories, to find relevance, to find meaning, to make a statement that brings them meaning. Like blind mice. And their answers? And they group together. Like the blind leading the blind. No one has any wisdom. No one shines a light. Everyone is just surviving. And in pain. Well, many, perhaps most. They need their drugs and drink. They need their meds. They need their distractions. They need their “friends,” for when you’re lost, finding someone as lost is like finding someone who understands. Together lost. No one having any answers that last. Some need to believe in atheism, because they’ve lost hope, many having been demoralized, then succumbed to outlandish behaviors and thoughts, many believing they can never be saved, and many seeing so many problems, which they use as reason to believe in nothing. But some eventually, if they’ve seen enough, realize if there is bad in the world, then there must be good (One man told us the horrors of the world made him realize the good. I liked that.). But people keep looking for their “solutions” outside of where the real solutions are. Sounds good today. Tomorrow, all the problems return. The controllers of the Matrix don’t ever want you to wake up. They create the problems, then come to solve them. They attack every real answer in the name of freedom. They distort language. In a sense, working together. Not that they all know this. Without their understanding, they actually think the false answers are the real answers. Many don’t know any better, doing their best. I’ve seen enough of this kind of thing to have woken up to it. So where do I find my answers, as best as I can? For I struggle as well. But I’ve learned not to hang my hopes on any other person. I have friends: good friends and others. I talk with a few people of wisdom. And wherever I am, if I find someone on the searching path, we talk. But we don’t completely depend upon each other. We encourage then go about our own ways. Reading good books. Reading the bible. Going to church now and then. Researching. Unplugging while camping, fishing, and doing other hobbies. And not doubting what we understand, even if it’s not popular, even if it makes finding work more difficult. Ronald Reagan once said it best, to his daughter: To thine own self be true. Each one of us is special. Each one of us is meant for something good. And there is much to hope for in a country where we still have the U.S. Constitution and freedom. Opportunities abound.
    And setting aside any trash. Getting the garbage out of the way. There is a very real reason why sex, sick sex, and outfits that reveal everything are everywhere (On television, in movies, on sit-coms, in commercials, on the web, on the smart phones the moment you turn it one, if you ever turn it off, in magazines, in books laced between all the decent ones, in ads, and in people who have bought into the matrix.). Progressive messaging. If you can demoralize a people, you control them. Keep their minds occupied, keep them with their problems, keep them entertained with the lowest common denominator messaging, and then provide solutions that are more of the problems. And when people are demoralized, they find themselves cut off from being their once innocent selves. We often hear people say, they don’t know who they are. They are trying to find themselves. But often, they find themselves where the new identity takes them further away from who they once were. Now, they’re ripe for the answers that will make them “feel good,” but actually worsens their problems. Very intricate web of lies. But if you wake up, even slowly, you’ll see it. But don’t get angry or enraged. Calmly understand. Realize it took a long time to get here. Yes, there are those who intended harm, then brainwashed and controlled others, getting their own kind into high places, creating regulations and controls over our lives. Every step of the way. But if you realize, remain calm. Be happy and you’ll see. Then start having conversations, encouraging others, reading the books that bring more understanding, learning about history: real history. Not what most of the media would have you believe. The founding fathers were decent people. Not perfect. They had their own challenges of their times. But they created a country where we’ve had the best chances at freedom and opportunities. But the “haters” were always there, from the beginning, and slowly, they sought to return us to the dark ages. And along the way, people from communist countries entered our institutions, our entertainment industries, in government agencies, and worked very hard to promote an anti-American agenda. Slowly. But steadily. What these “haters” see as freedom is really slavery. We are becoming enslaved by propaganda and infinite regulations.
    The beauty is recognizing the problem is the solution, beginning the path closer to our American identity, which is real human identity.

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