Welcome back to my blog, this week I am back to the parenting blogs, I feel especially in the current times we all need a reminder that we are doing great, even when it feels like we are barely managing to stay a float.
Having children is for me the most precious gift, it’s by no means the easiest but definitely by far the greatest gift in my life. I always knew I wanted to be a mother and I wanted to be the best that I could possibly be, like every other parent out there, when thinking about having our babies we hope to be nothing less than super mums or dads. I remember listing in my mind all the things I would teach them, the places we would visit. Thinking my child definitely wouldn’t be eating fast food, only freshly homemade goodness will be going into their little bodies. There were absolutely no limits to the expectations I had for myself as a parent and for my children!
11 years on and as the proud mother of two wonderful daughters I can honestly say that I am not exactly the perfect picture of a mum that I had hoped and had imagined I would be. Fast food and freezer food are two of the very few food groups that I can persuade my children to eat, if there’s a day when I can get them to consume a piece of fruit AND some veggies I feel like I am the master of all mums, I walk around the remainder of the day with a massive ego acting as though I’ve achieved world peace or something! They have seen very little of the world as holidays abroad are expensive when you have children, my advice to you is, if you want to see the world do it before you have kids, that way you can go in term time and save enough money for another 3 holidays! As far as teaching them anything, Geography, not a clue! I don’t even know where I am half the time, and as for Maths I still struggle with my times tables even when I use my fingers to count!
I may not be the super mum that I once imagined I would be, but I definitely do the best I possibly can for the people I love the most. As parents we spend so much time criticising and comparing ourselves to other parents who appear to do it better, but the truth of the matter is, no one is perfect and there isn’t any set way to be a parent. We must focus on doing what is best for us and our families and not live our lives trying to be like someone else, or worry what other’s think. For a long time I worried that speaking out about being a mum with mental Health illnesses would give people the right to judge me and my capabilities as a mother and it honestly terrified me, but what I try to continuously remind myself is that the negative opinions of others is a reflection of them as a people and not me. I will hold my hands up and say I am not even close to being the worlds best mum, but if you ask my children who their biggest supporter is, they will say me, if you ask them who gives the best cuddles when they will say me, if you ask them who makes them feel better when they feel sad, they will say me, if you ask them who loves them the entire world, they will say me. They don’t care that I am not perfect or that I can’t do things that other parents can, what they care most about is the love that I share and the time I spend with them.
If you are a mum, dad, parent or carer raising children with or without any type of illness this blog is a reminder that you are doing GREAT! The pictures you see on social media are simply clips of the greatest times and not a true reflection of daily life and the struggles that come with that. No one said being a parent would be easy but they also didn’t provide a manual. Being a good parent isn’t about never getting it wrong, in fact I’d be concerned if you didn’t, it’s about you doing you! Rest easy knowing that what you are doing is most definitely enough and absolutely perfect for the family you are raising!
Reminder:- It’s not about being the best, it’s about doing what’s best for you and your family.
Check out this post below, for more on parenting with a mental health illness.
Share a smile not a judgement
Lead with kindness