At the end of every year, I would always set myself new goals/resolutions for the year ahead and I’m sure like many rarely manage to complete more than one thing on the list. The intention is always there but it just never seems to happen!
Going into 2023 I started to question why this was?
On reflection the things that I would write down were either far too big or not actually things I truly needed for myself. In fact, they would be a combination of things that I had seen other people do or set as goals for themselves or even goals others wanted or hoped for me. Everything I had been choosing for myself was being influenced by others, and most of those people I didn’t even know, I just followed on social media!
One resolution/goal that appears on most of my lists is to finally learn to drive. Everyone always tells me, ‘You would have so much more freedom if you drove’, ‘your life would be so much easier if you could just jump in a car and go’… I would always agree and be left feeling less independent, and somehow like I was failing at being an adult. I actually did go as far as to book my theory test because I’d somehow convinced myself based off everyone else’s opinion that that was the right thing to do!
This year when I sat down to write my goals, once again, learning to drive was the first one down. It suddenly occurred to me that it wasn’t my goal at all, I don’t actually want to learn to drive, the idea fills me with fear and quite honestly, I would be a hazard to other drivers. I’m not confident behind the wheel and I find it hard to focus! I have managed pretty well for the last 35 years and am more than happy to continue using my legs to get me places or if needed jumping on a train.
2022 was a big year of growth for me, most of which has been in terms of my Mental Wellness and mindset, the way in which I see myself, other people and just the world in general. Each year when I’d look back over the things I hadn’t managed to achieve, I would be left feeling sad, useless and like I was continuously failing year after year.
Fast forward to the end of 2022 and I finally saw sense, I may not have achieved the thing’s on my list but I’ve certainly learnt a lot!
With this realisation I am committed to no longer putting myself through the torture, I have decided to shut out all the noise and opinions from the outside world and just do what’s right for me.
We live in a world that carries and puts a lot of pressure on people, to not only be and look a certain way but also to live a certain life. The expectations that every person should learn to drive, or that women should be married and settled down with children by the time they are in their 30’s! it’s all absolute rubbish!!
This year I am going to do things differently.
No Goals, No resolutions and
certainly no driving!
I am going in to 2023 living for each and every moment, allowing myself to step out of my comfort zone, take the opportunities that I am excited to take, focus on my new sense of self, continuing to work and look after my Mental and Physical well-being, and pour as much love and time into the people and things that truly make me feel happy and fulfilled in life… my family, my friends and my work.
I do not wish to spend any more time trying to pursue a life based on the ideals of others, no one should…Be your own person, live your own life whatever that looks like, if resolutions and goals work for you then set them, if they don’t then don’t set them, just whatever you do, stay true to yourself and the person that you want to be. Learn the lessons that life sends your way and most of all be kind, be kind to yourself and be kind to others.
Happy New year!